Berlin Decadence Exploding with the Coming of the Comet
Berättelser från Berlin. Dagen innan Sir Theodors fest
Artikel i den brittiska dagstidningen The Mirror
Recent weeks have witnessed an outburst of bizarre and extraordinary events in Berlin, catapulting the city of sin to an unimaginable extreme. Is the explanation the influence of a mysterious comet? Or is Berlin just gearing up for Sir Theodor’s extravagant party?
The arts scene, particularly, has seen a radical shift. A recent experimental concert, raided by police, has become a symbol of the city’s unstoppable creative force. Artists and performers have since taken to the streets, decorating public walls with vibrant murals, serenading passengers on buses, and staging impromptu cabaret acts in the KaDeWe department store and other unexpected places.
Entertainment venues, notably the Residenz-Casino and The Calypso, now have record-breaking attendance. Swingers’ clubs are also experiencing a surge in popularity, with new establishments opening daily. Furthermore, the city’s occult underbelly has emerged into public display, with secret societies and the newly formed Green Crystal Cult attracting large crowds of brightly smiling Berliners to rituals in the Grunewald Forest, where the comet is worshipped in the light of its eerie glow.
Most curiously, the city’s pneumatic mail, the Rohrpost, has started to spontaneously deliver enigmatic messages across Berlin, including prophecies, declarations of love and recipes for a paranormal wiener schnitzel, making the eater dance the Charleston all night long.
Even Berlin’s buildings have undergone a transformation, with rooftop gardens blooming into lush jungles where onions and beetroots grow to the size of small cars. The Architectural Council, once firm in preserving Berlin’s skyline, now endorses the urban farming. Furthermore, they have teamed up with Antoni Gaudí to combine the plantations with futuristic sculpture parks, connected by mosaic-covered bridges.
In an unexpected turn, the city’s most steadfast conservatives are also embracing this tide of change. The chairman of the Catholic Party for Order and Morality was recently spotted performing at a communist theater dressed in peacock feathers. Similarly, the once-moralistic police chief has reportedly left his post to become the editor of a nudist magazine.
According to the Archenhold-Sternwarte Planetarium, the mysterious comet will be closest to Earth tomorrow, coinciding with the night of British aristocrat Sir Theodor Paues’ extravagant party.
Will the party be the peak of this current wave of eccentricity? Expectations are sky-high: Some speculate that the party might open a portal to another dimension, while others are convinced it will mark the dawn of a new age for mankind. Both alternatives seem plausible – even likely – considering the guest list includes all the key figures in Berlin’s recent transformation, as well as many other truly extraordinary individuals.
In any case, it will be a party like no other. For those of us without one of the treasured golden tickets, the best thing to do is pour a glass of champagne, say a prayer, and wait for the bomb to drop tomorrow night at the Heaven & Hell Club.